Gerren Design

Hey, welcome to

Gerren Design

. This is the personal website of yours truly,

Gerren Rabideau

. Im an




, and all around


. This is my little corner of the internet; I use it to showcase my

illustration artwork

and my

web design

portfolio. By day I work full time as a

web designer

making the internet look better one page at a time, but by night I like to



What do I paint you ask?

watercolor fantasy and sci-fi illustrations

, but I also dabble in editorial and digital work as well. Plus, I also keep a blog of whatever else I decide to write about;

comic books, traveling, color theory, how much IE sucks

, etc...

October 2007 Archives

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I was talking to someone recently about what motivates us. Some people seem to derive their motivation from others, while some gather it from within themselves. I can't help but notice that it seems to be connected to whether or not we are introverted or extraverted. Those of us that spend our lives lost in our own thoughts gather our energy by playing with ideas or reliving our emotions. The people that are more outward thinking seem to get their drive from "doing" and from dealing with others. I don't have a degree in Psychology, but I believe Jung would agree with me.

For years I've been a highly motivated person. I think this was mostly because of my desire to take my imagination and materialize it. It pushed me. Over the last year however, I've gone through what can only be called a change of priorities. It has affected me. I've stop producing as much as I used to. Has this change of priorities robbed me of my motivation, or has it simply caused me to divert my energy to other tasks? It is difficult for me to say for sure. I certainly feel like I need to put energy into other aspects of my life. I know I've avoided addressing parts of my life in the past.

This weekend I felt energized. Strangely, it seems this new found sense of motivation came from dealing with others and not from exploring my own thoughts. Maybe this behavior is a sign of shift in my personality from introverted to extraverted. Maybe it is merely a coincidence. Regardless, I've tried to capitalize on this phenomenon as much as I can. I've gotten a great deal done this weekend; I got some much needed banking done, did my laundry, worked on a freelance project, hung out with my friends, met some new ones, reconnected with some I haven't spoken to in awhile, watched a good movie, finished a good book, and most impressively... cleaned my whole apartment.

I'm currently reading Queen of Candesce by Karl Schroeder. It's the sequel to Sun of Suns which I had mentioned previously on my old site, and so far I like it. I'm a little disappointed that the main character of the first book, Hayden Griffin, isn't in this one, but I like how the story has shifted to develop the character of Venera Fanning more. She was easily the most interesting of the supporting characters of the first book. Besides, the first novel was about Hayden's quest for revenge for the death of his family, but by the end of the story that was resolved. This book is about Venera's return to power, which is just as interesting.

What really sets these books apart from a lot of other novels I've read is the setting. Karl Schroeder has created a truly vibrant and unique science fiction environment. Everything takes place in an air bubble. Rather than colonize a planet, human beings simply create a giant hollow sphere filled with air, out in the middle of space. At the center of this world is an artificial sun known as Candesce. So the world has heat, light, and breathable air, but no gravity so everyone just floats around. Effectively creating an air world. The best part of the book is that no one knows that it is a colony. It has been around for so long that everyone has forgotten that they came from Earth. The cultures he has imagined that live in this place are fascinating. I recommend reading it.

Ok, that is it for my shameless plug.

I may never sleep again...

In honor of George Lucas' choice to further ruin the reputation of Star Wars by creating a new live action TV show; I've decided to share this video with everyone.

May the suck be with you.

atomic robo

I picked up the first issue of Atomic Robo this month. I had hopes that this book would be a pleasant cross between Scud: the disposable assassin and Indiana Jones. Regrettably, it seems to fall short of both. The artwork is mediocre at best, and the plot is so simplistic that even the 14 year old audience that it is targeting to will quickly get bored of it. I only hope that Neozoic, the other title from Red 5 Comics that I'm interested in, is going to address a much older demographic. At the very least it is sure to have better illustrating.

I have way too much time on my hands. Too much time to think always has mixed results. I've been reflecting about my own thought patterns lately. As far as I can tell I have at least four different categories of thoughts.

  • Action Oriented Thoughts
  • Pure Emotions
  • Conscious Inner Dialogue
  • In-between Thoughts (uncontrollable inner dialogue)

Action Oriented Thoughts are simple commands that require little effort. For instance, if my nose is itchy and I scratch it. There isn't any inner dialogue involved with this, my body simple responses to a neural impulse I'm generally unaware of.

Pure Emotions are pretty rare for me, so when I have them the hit me hard. Pure Emotions are when something you feel that is so powerful it drowns out all inner dialogue. Sobbing on the floor until you pass out might be a good example of this, but so would the waves of euphoria I get sometimes just by looking at someone I love.

Conscious Inner Dialogue is the form of thoughts that I have the most control over. I talk to myself in my own head to solve problems, daydream, and otherwise "think" about things. Conscious Inner Dialogue seems to be what people generally use to make their everyday decisions.

In-between Thoughts are what drive me nuts. These are the thoughts that I catch myself having in-between Conscious Inner Dialogue thoughts. They seem to be uncontrollable, and often reflect my overall mental health at the time. I suspect that they are parts of my sub-conscious bubbling up into my everyday thought patterns. I think that because although they often elicit an emotional response, they don't seem to be emotions themselves. Over the years I've had a myriad of different thoughts that would pop up in my head. This includes things like "I love her", "I want her back", "you should just kill yourself", songs that get stuck in my head, and old memories. Sometimes they are good, sometimes bad, but always distracting.

All of this brought me around to thinking about what I would give to have complete control over my own mind. What would I do to free myself of the painful thoughts and emotions I'm chained to. Would I give my right arm for it? It's hard to say. What kind of person would I be if I did? Would I be happy all the time, or would I be emotionally cold? I guess I'll never know...

This is one of the best moments in TV history...I still remember this from when I was a kid.

I just started using Netflix. I was a die hard Blockbuster fan for the longest time, mostly because I'm a big fan of instant gratification. However, lately I've found that Blockbuster's selection is going down hill and more and more of the movies I rent are skipping. Netflix seems like the obvious solution.

So, one of the first movies I rented was Sahara, which has been out on DVD for a while now but I had never seen it. I figured that it was based on one Clive Cussler's best novels and it had to be good... there is some faulty logic for you. I guess that Mathew McConaughy isn't a bad choice to play Dirk Pitt, but obviously they didn't look very hard since he was also the executive producer of the movie. I guess what bugs me the most is that they didn't really follow the book at all. They switched up the order of events and even created a new ending that just wasn't plausible. I'm not saying that the book was completely plausible; I just think that it was a lot easier to believe what was happening in the book than it was in the movie.

Anyway, so far Netflix isn't so bad.